Love is a bias act

Love is a bias act. 爱是种偏见.

When we're in love, we lose ourselves in blissful fusion. We choose to view our partners as perfects. Strengths are magnified while weaknesses are diminished in our eyes. We see things not as they are but as what we want them to be. This is usually true only during the infatuation period or as some people call it, the honeymoon period. And this is dangerous, for no one is perfect. For as this phase passes, the fog unveils and we begin to see the flaws that begin to stick out like sore thumbs. It is only couples that acknowledge this fact, come to terms with it and reach a compromise, that they'd be able to sustain the relationship beyond this phase. That's the theory I believe. It's only theory but at least it's been supported by several publications. So...how many pairs actually survive through this stage?

Received a surprise call from my friend's ex. It isn't usual for him to call & just 'chit-chat' with me. That was how he started off the conversation~'chit-chat'. Of cos I knew there's more to it, I'm not a 3 year old kid. Been getting missed calls from him the past few months but it didn't strike me that he'd been trying to contact me so urgently. He sounded rather depressed & hurt, telling me how much he loves my friend, how hurt he is now, asking me if I could talk my friend round & perhaps they can reconcile. *Duh..this is obviously his main motive of calling.* He went on and on...repeating and repeating. Aargh! I seriously felt like telling him, "Look. I'm neither Cupid nor 岳老. You think TADA!! I can perform miracles or something?!" Feels really weird talking about such topic to someone I'm totally unfamiliar with. And he sounds really desperate & persistent. I don't like talking to such people. It just affects me emotionally, making me feel real stressed up...but of cos I didn't show it. It will sound really mean to ignore the 'pleases' that's coming out from someone so desperate for help. But seriously, what help can I render? I'm only an outsider to this relationship and I don't wish to interfere. Anyway, I assured him I'd talk to my friend but I can't perform miracles. Sometimes the best way to help a person is to let them help themselves. Isn't it?

Reminds me of a para found in The 5 People You Meet In Heaven.
~"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it."~
Sometimes when it's all over, the best you can get are only memories. You can never turn back time and make someone love you all over again. Time doesn't always heal, but it makes the hurt more bearable.

The way I see it is...people grow and move on to different phases in life. Our needs change from time to time. Someone or something so desirable & meeting all your needs & wants now...may not be so tomorrow or perhaps..in a few years time. In life, every exit is an entrance to someplace else. Sometimes we are so focused on the door that was closing that we don't see the one that is opening. I really feel like telling him, "A bend in the road is not the end of the road, as long as you make the turn. And it is time to make the turn NOW." Then again, I'm in no position to advise anything. My gut feeling tells me it's best I don't get involved. I'm not sure what I'm going to do is right or wrong. I'm just gonna convey his message and wash my hands off the matter. Love is such a complicating & knotty issue. Just hope things turn out well.