Stop existing...Start living

Yes...stop existing & start living! Wish I could do just that. But first, define living. What does it mean to be living? I'm not even sure of it myself. Mugging for exams, going through the long path of education so as to stand a chance to fight for an opportunity to slog all our life till the day we drop dead? Feel like running away from all these crap when nothing feels right.

Confused by all the equations, theories, analysis. Just screwed up my first paper on Advanced Manufacturing & Nanotechnology. Studied so damn hard for it & yet I lost the marks I'm expected to get and the theories seemed to be all scrambled up in my brain. Sux! Now gearing up for Fluids Engineering paper this friday. I really hope I won't screw things up once again. Going into NTU engineering seemed to have demoralised me so much that my confidence of my academic ability have fallen far far below that during the college years. Feel so unsure of my own capabilities. It's always the case of walking out of the exam hall totally unsure if I can scrap through it all.

Went for a run this morning to SRC..also to retrieve my matric card I left behind after my Nano exam paper yesterday. I'm so careless these days! Like a zombie without a soul but all the equations and theories stuck in the head. Think I'm really cursed for running in campus, I fell down while running...following the sprain I had! Can't believe it..such things don't happen when I run elsewhere...anywhere but NTU! Weird! Now with a patch of fresh red 'ba-gua' on my knee cap. Yeerks :

Alright! Back to mugging! I wish for luck & miracle. Jia you all muggers out there!

*Hold on to patience & watch for the sign...we'll arrive one day, somehow*