Phew! Just handed in my first draft for FYP yesterday and just completed my Human Resource & Management's final assignment today. Terribly stressed! Left with presentation and report for Product Development & Management and assignment for Heat Transfer. Well well..hope to finish up real soon cos I've only a pathetic 3 weeks to exams!!! *Gasp, all I need is more time!*

I've always written my blog entries with a title. Don't feel like giving one to this entry today. When did I last do something like that..doing it just because I feel like doing it? Not that I can recall. I'm suddenly thinking...how it'll feel like if I just take any SBS bus that i feel like hopping onto; not bothering where its destination is, where it'll bring me to or bring me through, how long will the journey last. When was the last time I did something without having to think what the consequences are? When was your last time doing so? Feel like telling him/her that "hey, I just don't like you. Can you stop wasting your time and my time? Go and find someone else that's more suitable for you"...without having to feel guilty pangs knocking at you, screaming, "hey, you've just hurt someone."?? I've always been trained to do what I'm suppose to do, what's politically right that sometimes, I no longer know how I feel. I ask myself, "Hey, what do I like to do as a career?" *Silence...there was no answer.* Growing up means becoming numb on your senses.

The stereotype of females is that they are irrational & primarily driven by their emotions. Well, if that's how they define women, then maybe I'm an alien, an exception from my fellow sisterhood. I've always been a super rational person..I don't know why either. I've always done better in Mathematics and Science rather than languages. Maybe I've too much testosterone in me huh? Haha. I've got to think for so long before I can decide to buy a piece of clothing that I fancy while girls out there can just pick up something that cost a bomb but because they fancy it, they buy it right away. I've always not bothered to spend money on stuff which I find pretty but useless because I know it's going to be a white elephant. I'm not known for following my heart. My brain often overules my heart somehow after a struggle. In secondary school, if I had followed my heart and not bothered about the ambiguity of the subject because there's no right or wrong, I might have taken art instead of geography and english literature. If I had followed my heart when choosing a course in University and not bothered about having to fork out money to further my studies or having to worry if I'll even get to major in psychology, I may have opted for NUS's Arts & Social Science instead of the current Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering that I'm taking. If I had followed my heart and not considered the repercussions, I would have walked up years ago and say I like you. Well, I didn't do all that. Sometimes I wished I had a tinge of irrationalism in me...to give me the courage to follow my heart at times.