The Other Side Of Me

Taking a train at 22:30 on a windy night after meeting up with a friend. One of those rare days which I managed to skip an OT. Plugged in on my mp3 player with my standard range of melancholic songs, watching little lights sweep past as my train whiz past the concrete jungle on the eastern side of Singapore. I wonder what’s everyone doing in those little concrete squares that make up our shelters. What makes your shelter? How many people out there are truly happy? How many are troubled souls, caught in a self constructed psychological “hamster wheel”? How many lost & still in search? Which do you belong to? Just another random thought. I guess I’m not alone.

As I enjoyed some solitary time I had on the journey back home, bits and pieces of the long conversation I had earlier, came back to my mind with images flashing across my mind, reflecting on my perception, my life, my desires and so on. All that had happened over the past months seemed to have summarized within such a short period of time. A pen & a piece of paper in hand…jotted down these flashes of memory, my perception, and what they hold to me…now and then. Perhaps the answers were obvious. Just took me some time to figure it out and let it sink in.

I was pretty amazed those words came out from me…Yes…me, from my thoughts, my views. I never thought I could see things in such a clear perspective. Never underestimate the power of the mind. I could actually free myself, free my thoughts, free my feelings. It’s almost like an enlightenment after talking it out aloud. Even though things don’t turn out the way it was intended to initially, thanks to you, I found another beautiful side of myself:) It is a choice: to be miserable or happy. The only control I have is over my own thoughts, my feelings, my choices. It’s funny thinking back how fate brought us back together. And I value what it had brought us, this far. I chose to be a friend to continue with how we are going to move on in life. You may be confused still, but I hope you find your way, that missing piece to your heart..soon:) I’ll be cheering you on here. For now, I’m getting off this spinning wheel, it’s making me dizzy. I believe I made the right choice. I may not be as strong as I want to be at times, but I will go on no matter how tough this decision may be.

We learn best after feeling the pain & going through the struggle. But it’s all worth it. I would not be what I am without these hurdles along the way. Wouldn’t realize the value of happiness and how difficult it is to come by. Wouldn’t appreciate the preciousness of the heart for someone. I discovered what my most comfortable position will be. I realized where we stand beside each other. And as I walked alone…along that lonely road, that last path leading me back home, the song ~ Shelter, by Corrinne May, played in the air…loud & clear.

What's wrong, what's getting you down

Was it something I might have said?

You're walking around

with your head to the ground

and your eyes are watery red

I know you've been through tough times

Kicked around, thrown to the ground

but you've always been the strong one

So don't tell me that nobody gets you

'cause I'm standing in your corner

Knocking at your door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer

cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

We share a bond

You and I we belong

We're like coffee and morning trains

You strip my defenses

I catch your pretences

The same blood runs through our veins

I swore I'd be your lifeline

Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone

I'll listen when nobody gets you

I'm still standing in your corner

Waiting by your door

You don't have to be alone

Just call my name

Let me be an answer

cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

It was not too long ago

You sought to understand

You helped me mend

Remember when

So promise me you'll

Call my name

Let me be an answer

cause it hurts me to see you this way

I wanna ease your pain

Help me understand

Let me be your shelter my friend

A song also to you. Friends forever:)