Down

Just over and done with the SUWA presentation. Felt so demoralised & defeated. My presentation sux. So many questions my 2nd prof asked and I couldn't answer. Now I know why Prof Sandy's such a terrifying figure to all FYP students. Tested & proven... guaranteed terror! The thing I feel is: He can always be expecting contributions and results from me, but how much has he done as a teacher to provide guidance, not as chief investigator for the oh-so important $21 million project? Other than the questions asked to make me start thinking and the short talk before the whole FYP started last year...nil. Nothing. It's back to basics, if you're so results driven and profit driven and not exactly prepared to guide students or nurture them, why agree to take FYP students? Free labour for the project? Maybe he expected me to be super independent. The fact is, I was never reliant and all I need is a little nudge to tell me how I'm doing and whether I'm heading the right direction. Luckily I've still got Prof Butler. But sometimes, the 2 of us can't even figure out what Prof Sandy wants. Sigh..living in expectations. Felt so dumb at the meeting...I'm the only FYP student in the meeting - I'm like an alien there, the rest are profs, researchers, masters & PhD students. As expected, Prof Sandy couldn't even figure out who I was. Whatever fibroblasts cells, epithelial cells, gluteraldehyde-chitosan...whatever! Do they think I ever give a damn about all these if I'm not on this FYP?! F*** it for all I care. This was the first "blasting" session, I believe there're more to come. Sux sux sux! I HATE FYP. When will it come to an end? I'm looking forward to the last day of it...can't wait.

Life hasn't been exactly smooth sailing for me these days. But happy to say, I managed to retrieve all the files I lost cos I left the backup of all the files in a particular computer in the library. Didn't delete them so I found them on my next login! Happy for that:) I'm lucky this time.

Went for career talks for JP Morgan and Exxonmobil the past 2 days. Concluded that probably banking isn't the way to go for me. I can't seem to understand all the business jargons & terms they use. And I think I'll be highly disadvantaged in there even though I've worked in JP Morgan as a temporary staff before. It's a totally different "ball game". I got to know that they don't encourage transfers to different departments if you find something else more suitable after getting into the line of business. Giving it a try at Exxonmobil...but not placing too high hopes on it.

Life goes on...